“But mine is not
A heart of beauty.
Nor do I believe that
It is as alive
As it should be,
For the poisons of jealousy,
Anger and greed are slowly
Eating away at it
With sharp teeth
And vicious appetites
And I am in no mind
To tell them that this pain
Is nothing less
Than exactly
What I deserve.”

I wish last night didn’t end.

It is the night of my birthday and all that I can think about is everything that is wrong with me and I don’t really want to be alive right now and it scares me that I can not see any long term happiness in my future.

“Do not fall in love with people like me
we will take you to
museums and parks
and monuments
and kiss you in every beautiful
place so that you can
never go back to them
without tasting us
like blood in your mouth”

(Source: nubesque)